on sciatica and choosing joy

By nature, I am a positive, happy-go-lucky person. I tend towards sunshine and bright colors and kid giggles. Therefore, I like this blog to be about happy things- kids, easy crafts, good food, fun adventures, and the general blessings of day-to-day life.

But right now, life is a little rough.

I have been in pain for the past five weeks, with no end in sight, and it just plain sucks.
I am experiencing sciatica in my left leg and my lower back, so I cannot stand for more than a couple minutes or walk (hobble, really) more than a few feet before the pain is too excruciating and I have to sit down. It also makes sleeping difficult.

I have had multiple massages and chiropractic adjustments, as well as acupuncture. I have seen two primary care doctors and two physical therapists and tried five different creams (including cannabis cream) and four oil blends; heat and ice and epsom salt and every stretch in the book as well. Additionally I have been on a high dosage of ibprophen to take the edge off.

I have cried more in the past month than I can ever remember crying- sometimes due to pain, but more often due to frustration.

BUT, God is good. All the time.
He is teaching me so much through all this.

My first lesson was to accept this pain, count my blessings, and choose joy. 
(Coincidentally- or not so much- our church has been doing a series on joy. I have yet to listen to any of the sermons. I should probably think about doing that.)

I am ashamed to admit that my first reaction was anger. I have been frustrated that this pain is seemingly keeping me from a fun-filled summer with my family, and robbing me of the ability to fully be a mom and homemaker.
I would give anything to be able to stand in the kitchen long enough to make brownies with my kids, or to take them to the park and not have to sit on the bench, or stand in the shower long enough to wash my hair, or even to vacuum a room without having to fall down on the ground in the middle of it and lay there for a few minutes taking deep breaths before I can continue.
I cancelled my gym membership (meaning no pool days this summer) and cancelled a family vacation and a trip with Lane.

But I realized that instead of being frustrated and angry, I need to act out of joy and gratitude. In the grand scheme, this trail is nothing. I am still blessed far beyond what I could ever deserve- a handsome and loving husband, four healthy, sweet kids, a comfortable home, wonderful friends and family... on and on the list goes...

In the interest of saving time (I could write a novel on all the past month has meant for me and this post is already too long) I will bullet point a few more reminders that the Lord has been giving me:

- God wants me home to enjoy this time. At first, I accused God of robbing me of a fun summer with my kids. I like to be on-the-go all the time, and I would have been, but I now see that He instead has blessed me with a time in which I couldn't leave the house, or focus on housework, or really do anything else beside to sit around and stare at my beautiful baby and watch my kids play (and write blog posts, apparently). That is not my style at all, but that is what I am learning to do.

- God timed this just right. If this had been during the school year, or when we had a tiny newborn, or when we were moving (or while we were doing all three of those things this past spring), it would have been especially awful. But as it is, God allowed this to happen during a time when I could be home to deal with it.

- God provides. Our wonderful neighbors moved out this past week (we will miss them so much!), but they gave us a HUGE fun pirate ship to play with, a swing set, and some other fun, new toys. So the kids have new and exciting things to do at home! Not to mention, we have a nice big yard to play in finally!
We have also been blessed by such an incredible community of people who have been praying, bringing meals, and offering their help. We are so thankful for our friends and family, and another huge lesson for me has been to humbly accept help (something I am not good at).
(also not good at: writing thank-you notes. sorry about that. working on it, ha!)

There are just a few things God is reminding me of (along side what constant prayer looks like, how to listen to His voice, giving myself some grace- this post really could go on forever!), and I hope this short list is encouraging to someone else as well!
I don't know how long this pain will last, but I understand that this is where God has me now to teach me so much about Himself.

Trials are no fun, but they sure are a blessing!

PS two years ago
five years ago (evidently blogging doesn't happen much in August!)

ten on ten :: may 2016

Ten on ten was started by this pretty gal.

the goslings!

Guys, I totally forgot to post pictures from last week of the goslings!

We were out on our back deck one morning admiring the pond and we looked down and spotted seven fuzzy yellow little blobs waddling around next to Mr and Mrs Goose.

On our way to the park I brought my "real camera" and snapped a bunch of pictures.

          

The kids know pretty well not to run right up to the geese, but Judah stepped dangerously close and daddy Goose started hissing at him. Hilariously, Judah hissed right back.

It was obvious as they got into the water that there is a little runt of the flock:

Come on little buddy! You can do it!

Whew! Then he made it!

PS the goslings one year ago , two years ago and three years ago!!!

miss jenny

I was out of the habit of blogging for so long that I forgot to tell you about the newest addition to our family!

... Nope, not pregnant... But we have a wonderful roomie!



She has been living with us since the beginning of November and we absolutely adore her.

Jenny loves our kids and we always say that they like her better than they like us. She watches them for us and also takes them on special dates, which they can't get enough of.

This evening she took James to dinner, frozen yogurt, and a play.

She reads with them, does art with them, runs around chasing them and dancing with them. She also seems to miraculously know when I need help right before dinner time, and always appears to entertain the kids while I throw the meal together.

Additionally, we have had so much fun getting to know each other better and we have become really close. Jenny is the type of person who genuinely puts other people before herself. She will do anything for a friend and puts her whole self into the people and things to which she is committed. Jenny lives each moment fully- with enthusiasm and a smile on her face. I am so impressed by her on a daily basis; she inspires me to be better.

Also, she is the Tina Fey to my Amy Poehler.

powell butte nature park

Yesterday, we went for a family hike at Powell Butte Nature Park, which, we discovered, is about ten minutes from our house. How we have lived here for almost four years and not explored this little gem, I have no idea.

 (classic)

It hardly felt like we were within the city limits as we walked up the hill and enjoyed the views.

 (Above: that's my life right there. Thank you Jesus.)

Before we arrived, we were afraid our kids might not make it to the summit, but the elevation gain from the parking lot is not significant, and the trails slop up very gradually. It was the perfect little loop for the older two, although by the end Eleanor was (apparently): hungry, had to go potty, and wanted to go bed.

She made it back to the car just fine and even became distracted from her supposed discomfort climbing around near the visitor center.

If you are on the East side, I highly recommend taking a walk up the butte. And, for entertainment purposes, definitely bring small children with you.

what's the best way to paint the inside of a box?

 

Hop in, of course!

Oh, these two...

They have been spending a lot of time hopping in and out of the blow-up pool on the back deck, playing make-believe...

...and also enjoying a few lazy mornings in PJs, playing Legos...

We were camping most of last week, hopefully I will post about that soon, as well as some whole30 recipes I have been promising.

Happy Saturday, everyone!

lately: friends, food, five and water loss

It has been an unintentionally busy couple weeks for us.

James turned five last Wednesday and we had his birthday party at my dad's community pool last Saturday (as in, a week from today). Naturally, I brought my camera to the party and, naturally, I forgot the battery at home (good thing I had it charging all morning!).

Here is the birthday boy eating his strawberry birthday muffin on the morning of his actual birthday:
 (Sorry, that was a lot of "birthday" for one sentence.)

...and here he is playing chess, one of his birthday gifts from Lane:

This guy has been eating up a storm now that he has eight teeth and his poor little gums are not in excruciating pain. He loves scrambled eggs, cottage cheese, and all fruit:

The following pictures are solely for the purpose of documentation. You see, the beautiful reservoir behind our house has sprung a leak, and it is in a sad, low state. It is also stinky if you get too close on a hot day.

I took these pictures a couple weeks ago, and it is even lower now than it was then. According to our neighbors, this has happened before and it sort of corrected itself. We hope it will do that again since our house value is leaking right out with the water. 

Look at all that sad, sad dry ground. That should all be covered with water.

The Multnomah county fish and wildlife people have come and taken out a bunch of fish to relocate elsewhere.

I don't see that as a good sign.

Anyway, the "unintentional" part of our busy-ness came this week when we decided, extremely last minute, to have James participate in VBS at our church.

Our church goes all out with VBS. It reminds me of Young Life camp the way every square inch of the church is decorated, there is always fun music and people in costumes and general craziness. The church seems to be transformed into a different world for the week, and the kids love it. James had so much fun, and I am so glad we decided to have him attend.

One day after VBS, my friend dropped her three boys off at my house for a couple of hours so she could go to a dentist appointment. So there were six children. Age five and under. And me.
They spent the time hopping in and out of our blow-up pool, dressing up and having sword fights, and playing legos. I found myself running up and down stairs, picking up lots of wet things off the floor, and talking very fast.

But I love that kind of thing.
Here is her youngest with Elle... in a box, of course:

I told myself next week will be our chill week.

I'll let you know how that goes.