put your phone on top of your fridge. a challenge. sort of.

Let me say right off the bat: don't worry- this is not a food challenge. My own lunch started out as spinach salad and digressed to the kid's leftover mac'n'cheese. (Side note: Costco now sells Annies. Something like twelve boxes for thirteen dollars. Don't walk, run.)

Anyway, I'll be up front: the challenge is to put your phone on top of your fridge and to not look at it during the day. Well, not very often.*

For some inexplicable reason, my phone has become a huge source of temptation for my children. They are constantly stealing it off the counter and running away with it. Which they are not allowed to do, making this act what we call "deliberate disobedience". Every once in a while I will be caught up doing dishes or some other task and I will wonder why they have been so quiet. The answer is almost always the same: they have "thieved" my phone and are trying to get it to do something fun.

James has learned which icons go into camera mode, and he is getting oddly good at the "selfie". (I shutter just putting that word in a blog post. No worries, you will never see a hashtag here.) I also have "kid mode", which I used to let him do while I put Eleanor down for a nap. Both he and Elle try to play games in the kid mode quite often if they get a hold of my phone.

The phone itself is not a big temptation for me. (In fact, people often get frustrated with me for not responding quick enough to messages- which I am totally guilty of.) I use it, of course, to make calls, send text messages, answer emails, and take the occasional picture. I like to think of it as nothing more than a tool. I take it with me to the park in case of emergency, but purposely wear a watch so that I won't have to look at my phone to check the time.

However, a strange thing has started to happen. I find myself leaving my phone on the kitchen counter, but checking it several times a day. I don't know what I am hoping to find- maybe a play date offer or an email explaining that I won a cruise sweepstakes that I never entered. The point is, that it is pointless. It's like a nervous habit. I don't carry my phone with me around the house, I don't look things up on it, I don't make lengthy calls, I just check it when I go into the kitchen. And, like all things with small children, I am sure this has not gone unnoticed by my kiddos. They see that I look at my phone, and so they decide there must be something on there worth looking at. Which is the funniest part because, of course, there isn't anything worth looking at.

So I have chosen to place it on top of the fridge, on the side it cannot be reached even if James climbs onto the counter (which I anticipate he will do). I keep it on silent anyway, so it won't make noises that will tempt me to go check it while I am in the middle of playing or art time or even a meal. Out of sight, out of mind, for both my children and myself.

Now, to get to the disclaimers. First off, I don't think cell phones or text messaging, or any of that is a bad thing. But, I don't want my kids to be attached to their phones one day (a long, long time from now when they have phones of their own), and I certainly don't want them to be attached to my phone now. *Second: duh, of course I will check it. Just not often. Every once in a while Lane messages to see how my day is going, or to ask me to bring something to him at work. Sometimes there is a last minute play date opportunity someone may call about or a vitally important email, like overdue library books. But, for the most part, if I check at morning, midday, and evening, that should be plenty.

Third, this is not supposed to be a guilt-inducing challenge. There are always exceptions. You know yourself and your kids. If this would benefit you and your family, then join in. If your phone is not a problem, great. If this post did help you realize that your phone is an issue, I would love to hear about how putting it up affects your family. For us, I just hope it leads to less time-outs.

...Which leads me to disclaimer number four: this is not a post about how naughty my children are. They really are a couple of wonderful kids, who just happen to be interested in Mom's phone.

I would love to hear responses in the comments below!

Thanks,
Ashley

ten tips for building your child's wardrobe on a budget

I consider my children to be well-dressed. As in, they are appropriately dressed for the season and the occasion. I think they always look pretty darn cute, even though they don't have the hippest clothes out there. The most amazing part of this is that I hardly ever buy them clothes, and when I do I don't spend much at all. Here are a few tips I've learned over the last 3.5 years that have helped me to keep the clothing budget low:

1. Keep this in mind: it's okay to not have the trendiest kid on the playground.Your kid may be the cutest, but if you're on a strict budget, your children will not be donning the adorable vintage dresses or Baby Gap onesies that the other children do. And that's okay. A child can have just as much fun in second hand Osh Kosh as they can in Baby Boden.

2. Say "yes" to hand-me-downs. Always. No matter what. Say "yes". Whatever you don't use you can always give back or hand down to someone else.

3. Ask to borrow specific items you need. Luckily for me, I have a lot of friends with kids who are open to sharing and swapping clothes back and forth. When I need to fill in particular gaps in my kid's wardrobe, I usually ask my friends who have older kids if I can borrow the item I need. For example, I needed dress shoes to go with Elle's Christmas dress (a hand-me-down). I asked a good friend who has three older girls. She not only had the perfect little pair of shoes in Elle's size, but also offered tights to match. Money spent on Elle's Christmas outfit = zero dollars.

4. Shop garage sales over consignment stores. From my experience, consignment prices are always too high. However, people having garage sales are usually in a purging mood and will generally just want to get rid of all their kids' old clothes.

5. Splurge on important pieces. By "important" I don't mean those size 2T True Religion jeans you want for your toddler. "Important" means the practical stuff. Buy good cold weather gear, for example. I was able to splurge on a nice new pair of Bog boots for Eleanor so she can go puddle jumping with James. I justified spending forty dollars on a pair of kids shoes because we hardly ever have to buy clothes for Eleanor; when I have, they have been second-hand and extremely inexpensive.
Tip #1 is important to keep in mind here, because practical and trendy do not always go hand-in-hand. Sadly, Bog boots do not come in hipster chevron or bohemian tapestry, so Elle is stuck with neon pink. But, her feet are warm and dry on our outdoor adventures.

6. Remember: kids do not need as many clothes as you may think. After all, they will grow out of their current outfit in about five minutes. Even when my children have a chock full closet, they always end up wearing the same few outfits over and over. You really only need a few basic, comfortable pieces for them.

For when you absolutely must go out and shop for clothes for your kids:

7. Make a list. Like you do with groceries. Write down exactly what your kids need in which sizes and how many. Do not stray from your list.

8. Go straight to the clearance section. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.... because you will spend it. Shop the clearance. We have had great luck with Old Navy clearance. James has about a half dozen long-sleeved shirts we bought for as little as $2.50 a piece.

9. Don't be fooled by coupons. Often times they exclude clearance, or even sale prices. Coupons also usually have a minimum, so you will end up buying more than you need.

10. Shop online. If you shop from home, it may be easier to stick to your list than if you go into the store and get distracted by all the cute clothes on half-sized manikins. Additionally, there is generally better availability of items online versus at the store.

Are these tips helpful? Are they things you already do? What tips do you have for buying kids clothes?

I would love more advice as my kiddos get older and need more and more clothing!

Thanks,
Ashley

ordinary joys: sunshine

Sunshine in January in Oregon- ordinary or extraordinary?

I'm not quite sure, but either way, getting outside and feeling the sun on my face was bliss.

-Ashley

Though we live in a decrepid 50's apartment building, have an unwelcome pet mouse and a ceiling leak, we have the most incredible view of downtown Vancouver, the mountains and the water from our living room window. On sunny evenings the pink light reflects on the buildings and it is so beautiful.  

-Katie

What brought you joy this week?

eight ways to save money in 2014

Anyone who has known me for long will probably be surprised by this post. Although my family is fairly frugal, I have never been the wisest person when it comes to money. But the silly (stupid?) combination of moving to one of the most expensive North American cities, grad school, and having a baby have forced me to embrace a healthier financial lifestyle. Plus, my husband's apparently insatiable appetite for education means we are probably looking at another 4-7 years of the grad school lifestyle. Here are some concepts that have helped us a ton:

1. Track your spending (duh ). How can you know how much you can spend if you don't know how much you have? We use mint.com to track our spending and set budgets. It's pretty much the best and simplest thing I have found. We are terrible at tracking ourselves and this is almost a no-brainier technique.

2. Embrace homemade. Thanks to Pinterest and the resurgence of DIY lately, this is pretty simple and in fashion. If you can cook, a homemade meal is almost always going to save you money. Bake your birthday cakes. Sew your curtains. Make your own peanut butter, almond milk, salad dressing, bed frame, liquid soap... Whatever you find inspiration in! Homemade and hand-made things are often higher quality and more memorable than store-bought.

3. Keep your home company-ready (whatever that means for you). That way you can have a friend over for tea instead of going out, or entertain visiting family instead of spending money at a nice restaurant. 

4. Live in the smallest space you can realistically function in. Smaller= less rent or morgage to pay. Smaller= less space to fill up with stuff. I'm frequently saved from making an extraneous purchase when I realize it will just add to the clutter in my home.

5. Decide what's worth a pretty penny to you, and spend your dough there. For me, it's travel. For Nate, it's tech. We would rather wear second hand clothes and have these things as part of our lifestyle.

6. Buy in bulk, but only if you won't consume it faster. When we first moved to Vancouver, land of expensive meat and dairy, we started making trips to Costco in Washington state to 'save money'. We soon found that having that much food on hand just meant we ate it more often than we normally would. Now we shop sales here, and eat less meat and dairy (except for this month). Our exception? Household items. I would bet you're not going to clean house more often because you have plenty of cleaning supplies stashed away. And if you do, I say more power to you.

7. Sometimes you have to spend to save. If you realize after tracking your spending that you give a third of your income to Starbucks, it's time to buy an espresso machine and become your own barista. Another place this is quite true is items around the house- if you could possibly foresee having a need for an item for the rest of your life, spend a bit more now for something high quality that you love. Ikea dishes just break and then you have to spend more later.

8. Know thyself. If you're apt to overspend occasion when you see that thing you must have, or your favorite band comes to town, or you just want a fancy meal out on occasion, then factor that in. Frugal isn't always fun, so leaving room for occasional irresponsibility is actually really responsible.

What would you add to this list?

Xo Katie

ten tips for stay-at-home-moms on the days they are doing just that

A few weeks ago my husband was out of town, my car would not start, my son had a cold, and the weather was nasty. In other words: we could not go anywhere, see anyone, or stay outside for long periods of time.

I was fully living up to my title of Stay at Home Mom.

I usually try to make sure the kids and I don't travel anywhere three days per week. We still walk over to the park, or go for a walk through the woods, or sometimes have friends over for play dates, but I feel like it is so important to keep the kids at home and spend quality time with them here. Also, it saves money (that I would be spending on gas, coffee, activities), and I feel like I can get a lot more chores done around the house when I am home all day.

I try to really savor the time at home because I know it won’t be forever that I will have my kiddos here with me. However, it isn’t always easy to keep kids entertained and get chores done. Cabin fever can set in quickly.

Here are ten things that I find make my days at home with my kids smoother and more enjoyable:

 1. Wake up early and drink something warm. If I can get up before my kids, I am a completely different person than if I wake up to the baby crying or James jumping on me. If I have caffeine in my blood system, a plan for breakfast, and a few Bible verses read, the day seems full of possibilities rather than full of stress when the kids get up.

 2. Make your bed. You won’t be as tempted to get back in.

3. Cozy up your home. In the mornings I open the curtains, turn on lamps, put on some soft music, light some candles... I try to make it an inviting place that my family will want to wake up to.

4. Cook a good breakfast and sit down with your kids to eat it. This is certainly not always easy, but I find it very important. If the dog hasn't been fed and my coffee isn't ready and the kids are running around like crazy, I usually give them some fruit or dry cheerios to snack on until I can get myself ready to sit down with them. I really enjoy the time around the table where we talk about the day ahead and have our little Bible study time.

5. Set a time for work and a time for play. If I try to get things done around the house and play with my kids at the same time, I end up frustrated because I cannot actually do both at once. I have learned to tell James "I am going to load the dishwasher, then pick up the kitchen a bit. After that, I would love to play cars with you." I try to offer ideas for him to do while he waits for me, or I tell him ways he can help me. It doesn't always work, but I think it is important for him to learn patience.

 6. Have some activities in mind. My day runs much smoother if I have a plan for things James can do. I usually pull a couple rotational toys down from his closet in the morning, and I will plan an art or cooking project for he and I to do together during Eleanor's nap time.

7. Get out! Now! I mean outdoors, of course. Don’t let weather stop you. Lather on the sunscreen and strap sunhats on the kiddos. Bundle them until they can’t put their arms down. Strap the baby in the front pack and put the toddler on his bike. Just get out. Every day.

8. Clean up after yourself. Ugh. I actually kind of hate this one, but I am a calmer less frantic person when I do it. It amazes me that my house actually seems to be kept more orderly when I am home rather than running in and out.

9. Give your kids some space. It took me awhile to learn this one, but man, am I glad I did. If my kids are entertaining themselves with their toys, using their imaginations and playing well by themselves, I don’t need to feel guilty for not interacting with them one hundred percent of the time.

 10. Make your kids laugh. Have a tickle fest. Make silly faces. Slip on a banana peel. What ever you have to do to get them to giggle and put them in a good mood. You will feel better also, laughter is contagious, especially when it's coming from a kid.

There are other things that I can think of that would be helpful, like "Get dressed out of the outfit you slept in by noon" or "Go to bed at a decent time", but it just didn't seem right to suggest anything that I am incapable of.... however, I would love to hear what helps you to get through the at-home days! Please leave suggestions in the comments below...

Thanks!
Ashley

the great christmas take-down of 2013

If your Christmas was anything like mine, it made its way to the far reaches of your home- seemingly erupting in every nook and cranny. And if you are like me, you looooooove Christmas and all the decor it brings, but when it's over you are more than relieved to take it all down.

Last night I decided to de-Christmas our home after the kids went to bed. I also decided to reorganize the four gigantic boxes of holiday paraphernalia that we have accumulated.

In my organizational fantasies I have large, well-labeled, stack-able plastic boxes, perhaps with compartments or more well-labeled boxes within them. Truthfully, I actually just have some big cardboard boxes that are falling apart.

In order to keep organized and to keep things from breaking I had to get creative with the resources left to me (aka the recycling bin and wrapping paper still strewn all over the floor). I want to share just a few tips, but really I am hoping that I can gain some tips also. So, here are a few of my decor packing ideas that you may want to utilize:

Pack ornaments in beer boxes. The little compartments are perfect for breakable ornaments and you can load lighter, more durable ornaments on top. The little tins and sturdy boxes everyone gave you cookies and candies in are also great for ornaments.

Wrap strings of lights around toy boxes. James' duplos set and new art supplies came in just the right size boxes to wrap lights around. This way, they will be all ready to unwind and string up next year.

Wrap fragile decorations in used tissue paper and wrapping paper. I don't know a lot of people who still receive the newspaper, and I usually don't have packing peanuts lying around. What I do have the day after Christmas is loads and loads of crumpled wrapping paper. Perfect for wrapping the fragile ornaments.

I would love to hear your holiday put-away ideas!
Ashley