toddler gift guide

From Cup to Cup's 2013 Holiday Gift Guide: We believe that gift-giving should be done out of joy and excitement for the holiday season, and out of love for the recipient of our gifts, rather than the obligatory consumerism that so often plagues this time of year. It is our genuine hope that this guide will be helpful in finding just the right present to bestow upon the special people in your life. 

Rule number one about buying gifts for toddlers (apparently I am dishing out rules in this “guide” because I’m bossy like that): Do not buy flashy toys.*

I know what you are thinking. “Say whaaat? Loud, light-up toys are what every toddler dreams of, asks for, and loves to receive.” And you would be correct. They love to receive these toys. They love to tear off the wrapping paper and look at the sweet action pictures on the box and imagine all the cool things their toy could do. Yet, once the adult in their lives has hacked away at the eighty five twisty ties and plastic wrap –impenetrable by human hands- with keys and pocket knives, and has finally delivered the toy into the eager grasps of the child, it will be played with… for, maybe a day. Then the child will become bored with the toy and wander around the house to eventually find the box the toy came in, and then proceed to play with the box for longer than they did the toy.

So, moral of the story, give the toddler a cardboard box. The End.

No, just kidding.

In my opinionated opinion, the best gifts can be put into three categories: memories to be made, gifts that keep giving, and practical stuff.

Category #1: Memories to be made. Oh the possibilities! I will try not to go too far into my own imagination on this one, since this post is getting too long already. But this can include a special day or outing with the little one, or passes to anywhere: zoo, children’s museums, aquariums, Lego Land Germany… For Portlanders there is OMSI, the Children’s Museum, the Oregon Zoo, or the increasingly-sketchy Portland aquarium. Last year we gave my cousins and their two young children a day pass for the four of them to visit the Children’s Museum. I considered myself an awesome gift-giver for that one.

Category #2: Gifts that keep giving. This could be a subscription to Kid’s National Geographic’s (James is a society member, and loves receiving the magazines in the mail, then immediately pouring through them), books, or a gift you make. I adore children’s books to an odd degree and could go on for quite some time about all the titles you should own and read, regardless of your age or parental status. Another post perhaps. An added bonus with books is that you can find them inexpensive online, or even used. A gift you created could include photo books, art, or a blanket or item of clothing. The toddler will enjoy them now, but really cherish the value and effort in these homemade gifts later in life.

Category #3: Practical stuff. Ask parents what the child needs- particularly in the areas of clothes and art supplies. This stuff can be fun to pick out, but not always fun for the parents to have to buy, so gifts in this category are greatly appreciated.

There you have it: the official Toddler Gift Guide for the holidays, 2013. Did I nail it? Was this helpful for you? What do you give (or planning to give) to the toddlers in your life? I would love to hear your thoughts!

*I should probably state for all of you who take offense to Rule #1 that I believe there are exceptions to all rules. When all that your little grandson Jackson or niece Ava has been talking of and pining after is something that was made in a plastics factory in China and requires multiple batteries, well, I understand.
In fact, my children have been given many light-up, singing, bright toys with moving parts that I keep on rotation. What I mean by “rotation” is that these toys stay up in closets and are brought down every once in awhile until I can no longer stand the music they make. Or until my kids stop playing with them, which, surprisingly, often happens first. More evidence to my theory that backs Rule #1.
My advice is to ask the parents before buying a toy like this, even if the child has you convinced they need it. Also, there are some wonderful, non-flashy toys out there. James has been given many great toys, such as his stick horse, Ever Earth wooden workbench (similar here), and some well made cars and trucks that are not obnoxious, he plays with all the time, and he will have for years to come.

Happy Gifting!
Ashley

and wonders of his love

Our family decided to brave the cold and go in search of a Christmas tree Tuesday night. Conveniently for us, anything south of where we live is Damascus, which is farm land and tree farm territory. So we had to drive about three minutes to get to a you-cut tree farm.

The sunsets have been pretty spectacular around here lately, and Tuesday was no exception. We arrived at the farm as the sun said its farewell in pink and gold. After explaining what we were looking for to the friendly tree farm owners, they pointed out the best spot in their yard (because the farm was, in fact, their yard) for us to search. Undoubtedly they knew what they were talking about as we chose the first tree we came across. Lane quickly chopped it down and we took it back to the barn to have it shaken and baled.

As we stood in line we chatted happily, James drank hot cider, and Christmas music played over a loud speaker. I danced around to try to keep warm and keep Eleanor entertained in the front pack (she decidedly does not like cold weather). The song "Joy to the World" came on. I sang along:

He rules the world with truth and grace

And makes the nations prove

The glories of His righteousness

And wonders of His love...

Suddenly that line hit me.

"Wonders of His love." I feel like they are all around me, all the time. These wonders that display His love so subtly and yet without a doubt, and that is the perfect term for them.

a beautiful sunset.. the smell of freshly cut doug fir... an excited toddler and snuggly baby... hot cider...

...and wonders of His love...

The next day Eleanor woke up early and still tired from her nap. I brought her out to the living room and sat down on the couch. James cuddled up next to me with a book for us to read and she fell back asleep on me. We spent a rare, but sweet half hour curled up on the couch together- Elle sleeping and James and I reading stories. He put some stickers in his story-coloring book while I basked in the moment.

The tree made me smile. For obvious reasons, all the ornaments had to be hung three feet and up (especially silly looking on a five foot tree), and they are mostly clumped in one spot due to our decorator being three and a half years old. Our home is certainly not glamorous, but as I sat and looked around at our family photos, James' art, and toys everywhere, I felt an overwhelming gratitude for that place and that moment.

my sleeping baby... our hideous Christmas tree... James' art... our warm home... a moment of rest...

...and wonders of His love...

And then that night, after a long day, I was in the basement attempting to keep the kids' occupied while I waited for Lane to get home. He was late, dinner was late, and I was exhausted. We were throwing beach balls and running around to get out some energy when I glanced outside.

One brilliant star and a perfect, bright crescent moon shown in the sky, lighting up the pond behind our house. I called James over. "Look at the moon and the Christmas star." I said (it could have been a satellite for all I know). "Do you think it is the same star that guided the wise men after baby Jesus was born?" His eyes filled with wonder, he nodded and smiled his big goofy grin.

the moon to light up the night... an awe-filled child... the star of Bethlehem, telling of our Savior's birth...

...and wonders, and wonders

of His love.

Here's to a wonder-filled Christmas season,

Ashley

glitter mason jar votives

I am an unabashedly huge fan of glitter. My go-to holiday nail polish is a bronze glitter which I adore. There is just something so festive about sparkles, especially at Christmas time!

Also, you will learn this about me soon if it is not clear already: I am not a very involved crafter. If I can learn it in a few steps, have most of the necessary items on hand, and can finish the project relatively quickly, I'm in. Otherwise, I'll let the truly crafty people have the opportunity to shine-- I'm generous like that. 

Thus, these glitter jars are perfect if you're anything like me! I finished six of them during one of my baby's crazy short naps, and they make the apartment gleam like it's a party every night. I sat with sweet Pete and we just stared at one for several minutes last night. Easy entertainment.

Here's how:

Supplies

Jars- you choose how many and what size, plus a lid

Elmer's glue or Tacky glue

Paintbrush or sponge

Glitter

Tea lights

Mix glue with one part water in a cup and pour a little bit into a jar. Roll it around, covering the bottom and sides with glue, using the brush to help. When the bottom and sides at coated evenly, pour in some glitter- just a tablespoon or so. Screw on the lid and shake, roll, dance- whatever you feel like doing to spread the glitter love all over that jar! Add more if necessary, or pour off and save any extra. Remove lid, allow to dry, then place a lighted tea light inside and gaze at the sparkly magic. Then vacuum.

Viva la sparkles! Katie

five gifts for your practical/frugal wife who's also a mom (okay, my wish list)

From Cup to Cup's 2013 Holiday Gift Guide: We believe that gift-giving should be done out of joy and excitement for the holiday season, and out of love for the recipient of our gifts, rather than the obligatory consumerism that so often plagues this time of year. It is our genuine hope that this guide will be helpful in finding just the right present to bestow upon the special people in your life. 

1. reliable slippers (these from Land's End $39)
I actually owned these slippers at one point and wore them as, well, more than slippers. So they became a little worn down (as in holes in the bottom and too dirty to walk on carpeting). But I promise my next pair will only be worn as intended- in the house. And maybe just to grab the mail. Oh, and take out the trash. And just for quick trips to the store...

2. 2014 planner with lots of room to write lots of things for each day in big handwriting. (this one $13.49 on Amazon)
I need this because my handwriting looks like that of a ten-year-old boy and is just about as big. Also because I have to write absolutely everything down in one central location or I will forget to do things like shower.
I looked over a bunch of them, but some didn't have enough room to write all the important things I need to do (such as shower), others looked so complicated they most likely come with operating instructions, and others were too goal oriented, which I found to be just too much pressure. (Although the one pictured above does have "Do it all planner" printed on the cover, I figure I could just put a sticker over it. After all, it apparently comes with stickers!). This one seemed organized, but not overly elaborate, and also has tear-off pages for shopping lists, pockets, as well as "charming quotes start each week off in an upbeat fashion". Sold. 

image via

3. Coffee dates for your wife to go on with herself.
If you get her anything, get her this: buy twelve gift cards (one for each month) to her favorite coffee shop ($5-$10 a piece) and set up dates (write them in her new planner, see #2) for her to go on with herself. You will watch the kids or find someone else who will. Just make sure to have dates and times, otherwise it won't happen. Trust me, this will be a hit. I will come babysit for you myself if this gift doesn't bring tears to her eyes.

4. Pajamas. (these Boden on sale for $30.80... still too spendy for a cheapskate like me)
Oh, how I need PJ bottoms. I have started sleeping in leggings or warm-ups, which is a problem because I wake up and design my days' outfit around them so I don't have to change out of them and into real pants. Wow, TMI, but you probably now agree that I need some jammies.

5. Pretty everyday earrings. (these $40 from Upper Metal Class)
I actually have one of the earrings similar to these, but square. Yes, just one. The other was torn from my earlobe in the pool during a series of "jumps" James did, during which I was supposed to ensure he didn't drown. But I miss that little earring that matched everything I wore perfectly and received all sorts of compliments. I would love to have the triangle pair above, but the circles are quite pretty also. And even us practical/frugal/mom/wives like pretty things.

Happy wishing,
Ashley

PS Will someone please email this to my husband?

activity advent calendar

Last year Eleanor was five days old when December began. Despite having a newborn, I was bound and determined to make the Christmas season special for James. I wanted each day to hold Christmas joy, so I made a simple Advent calendar that had an activity for us to do each day of December leading up to Christmas.

I bought envelopes that were pre-stamped with numbers 1-25 on them. Then I used my favorite craft item, mini-clothes pins, to attach them to a red ribbon. I hung them up, stuffed each one with a paper stating the days' activity, and enjoyed a fun-filled holiday season with my kiddos.

There are a couple hints I learned along the way. The first and most important one: keep a list of the activities you have decided on with the dates you planned each activity. As the month progresses and plans change, you can easily swap one event for another as you go along, or change the days' activity all together.

Another thing to keep in mind is to keep activities simple, but joyful. It is a joy in itself for my son to reach into the envelope and pull out the days' activity. It does not need to be a huge event everyday, but you can make any little thing seem like a big deal. Just cutting snowflakes out of paper can feel special. Put on some Christmas music, make hot chocolate, be enthusiastic, and they will feel the magic of the season.

Final hint (this only works if your children cannot yet read) : If when your child eagerly removes the paper from the envelope and hands it to you, expectant of what the days' activity will hold, you go to read it only to realize the activity is not possible for the day ("make cookies with mom" but you are out of sugar), simply make something up on the spot. If you can quickly think of another days' activity just state that one, and switch them out later. I will admit: I have done this.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

- Decorate the house for Christmas

- Read the Christmas story (Luke 2: 1-20 is what I read to my little guy) and set up the nativity scene

- Make Christmas play dough (red, green, glitter!)

- Elf yourself (my son is obsessed with this... okay, so am I)

- Go to a tree lighting

- Make paper snow flakes

- Family date: Go to Zoo Lights

- Family Date: Go pick out and cut down a Christmas tree

- Help Daddy hang lights around our house

- Make a ginger bread house

- Make Christmas crafts to send to family

- Go get Christmas books from the library

- Walk or drive around and look at Christmas lights

- Buy a present for an adopt-a-family child

- Read Christmas stories in front of the fire

- Go downtown to look at the lights and window displays

- Make Christmas cookies with Mommy

- Go to a Christmas party

- Make an ornament

- Make Christmas decorations and bring them to neighbors

- Watch a Christmas show and eat popcorn

- Wrap a present with Mommy

- Family date: go sledding

- Call Grandma and sing her a Christmas carol

- Christmas Eve! Open 1 gift (we usually do jammies or a Christmas book to read before bed)

What else do you or would you add to an activity Advent calendar? I would love to hear more ideas!

Happy Christmas season,
Ashley

in all circumstances

Thanksgiving is a popular time of year to declare all the good things in our lives, the things and experiences and people who make life sweet and good. This is much easier to do when life is, in fact, sweet and good. But what about when things aren't going so well? How do we cultivate hearts of gratitude when our plans go awry, our dreams unmet?

The past 13 weeks, 14 really if you include my week of labor (another story for another time), have been like riding a wave of emotion. Holding my sweet Pete in my arms, watching his long eyelashes float to sleep, seeing him take in all this big beautiful world, watching my husband become a father before my eyes-- it doesn't get much better than this. It is all so much more, so much bigger, so much more beautiful than I ever imagined. In these moments, gratitude comes easily and prayers of thanksgiving slip easily from my mouth. 

But, but... when labor pains come each night, keeping me awake and gripping the sofa, wondering if this is it, but fading to nothing at sunrise, how then? When my sweet boy can only sleep in contact with my body and my body hurts from so much rocking, so much sitting, and the dishes pile up, how then? When I fall hard and the boy is crying and I'm crying and it is a fracture in my fibula and I can't leave the couch for weeks, and my own healing is put on hold for every diaper change, every rocking to sleep time, every single nighttime nursing, how can I give thanks? 

I am learning things I never knew I needed to learn. In only three months of parenthood, my heart has been turned inside out, wrung out and hung up to dry. In the wringing, in the anxiety, in the pain, the Lord has been whispering, see? This is how much I love you. And He has shown me through tiny baby toes, and friends gathering round to wash and feed and carry and care. He has shown me through a baby who sleeps sweetly until morning and smiles at my voice and laughs at a very silly octopus toy. I'm beginning to see that one doesn't happen without the other, and the greatest joys also sometimes come with the greatest pain. 

Paul's charge in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 is the cry of my heart and the measuring stick of my days. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." So simple... and so difficult. But this is God's will. This year I am deeply thankful for a God who gives and loves so abundantly, and has unending grace for this ungrateful creature who constantly forgets to turn it back to Him in praise.

happy thanksgiving, Katie

the truth about the speed of time as a parent

As I mentioned before, my baby just turned one.

Photo credit: Kaela Salaz photography

I have so many people in my life- from family and friends, to even my (wonderful) pediatrician- telling me how quickly it happened. I nod in agreement, but in reality I think that is a funny statement. You know why?

Because it didn't happen that quickly. It happened in one year.

Photo credit: Marci B photography

More experienced parents seem to be constantly telling me how I better be savoring this time because:

"You'll blink and they will be in kindergarten."
"Time will fly by."
"They grow up so fast."
"Tomorrow they will be graduating from high school."

But I'm going to let you in on a little secret: time does not go by any faster because you have children.

The sun still rises and sets in twenty-four hour patterns, the Earth is not quickening its orbit, and there are still three hundred and sixty-five days in a year.

I hope that is a little bit of a relief for you, because as simple as it sounds, at times we start to believe that time actually does seem to be going at a quicker pace and maybe we are wasting it, not soaking it up like we should be. Of course, the sweet grandma at the grocery store telling us that it seemed as if her fifty-two-year-old was five years old yesterday is not intending to cause us anxiety, but sometimes it happens anyway. Not too long ago I had a friend tell me that she was genuinely stressed out about the rapid pace at which her children seem to be aging. It made me so sad for her!

Dwelling on the speed of time, or apparent speed of time, is not the answer. I believe the answer is to embrace it.

Embrace the moment you are in right now with your children- even if it's difficult and you want to move past it, even if you miss the stage they have grown out of, whether the clock hands seem to be spinning furiously or at a stand still. As we dive into the holidays, enjoy your time with your family, relish every second.

And remember, no matter how old your children will get and how much time passes, they will always need you to be their parent.

Here's to living in the moment,
Ashley